The Joy of Celibacy

[deva]

Greetings,

What is the best way to approach this "elephant in the room" topic? Sex is a self-destructive activity which ages the body, weakens memory and distracts one from higher meditation. In a society where fools like Oprah's Dr. Oz not only promote sex as a recreation, but present it as a necessity for prostate health, where do we begin to defeat this nonsense? To me, this is where ayurvedic doctors should be focusing their attention, since it affects the health and well being of everyone on the planet. Where is the research, the case histories, etc. which compare celibacy to the sukra dispensers? Where are the voices of the celibates? Most of the Americans don't even believe they exist?

deva

[dharmananda]

You have a wonderful question, and I applaud the strength it took to ask it.

I have heard it said that humans struggle with three great desires on the road to liberation, sex, money and drugs. Sex is by far the most powerful force chaining us to our bodies simply because we are chemically wired to want it for the purpose of survival, our society tells us that money is important from the first day we are born, and it is human nature to self medicate in every way imaginable from overeating, to coffee, to alcohol in order to find a cheap imitation to the bliss of the Divine. But sex is the true challenge because the very hormones in our bloodstream urge us to do it without thinking of the consequences.

This is an unbelievably powerful force that many don't even make the effort to fight. And then on top of that we live in a culture that worships sex in every way, shoving it down our throats with every opportunity. For the first time in my life I have taken a six month vow of celibacy in order to further my walk with God, and never in my life have I been so conscious of how much sex is thrown at us from every direction. I cannot even get on line and watch youtube in order to study the playing of sacred instruments (mridangam) for the purpose of bhajans without having a pornographic picture of a mostly naked woman in the corner of my screen urging me to 'meet hot singles in my area!'. And I am very familiar with the message of Dr Oz that you are referring to, urging men that in order to have a healthy prostate they should have an orgasm every day or as frequently as possible. So now if we are celibate we will die...super! While his intent might be health, I am quite confident that the combination of a vegetarian diet, abstinence from alcohol, drugs, fast food, etc, an active lifestyle and most importantly a positive spiritual mindset will more than offset whatever benefits an orgasm provides, and I am willing to bet my life on that statement!

And as for the benefits and studies done on the health of celibacy, I would look to the very same yoga masters that bring us all the wisdom of the ages. I have read that our sexual energy is the most abused of all our life forces, and like you were saying this constant outflowing of our sexual life force results in a drain on our bodies, minds and spirits. Keeping that force within you and redirecting it to more creative and spiritual pursuits can be one of the most powerful things we can ever do.


There is nothing inherently unhealthy about celibacy, and in fact in these past few months I have felt liberated in a way I never believed possible. For I believe that the most unhealthy aspect about our society's obsession with sex is how miserable people feel if they are not having it, combined with the terrible things people will put up with in order to have it. We are told as both men and women from day one, healthy people have sex, the more beautiful your partner is the more successful you are, sex is what grownups do. It has gotten to the point where people's entire identities revolve around their ability to attract the opposite sex, only to have disappointment after disappointment. Where does it end?

For me it has ended with the Bhagavad Gita. In this sacred text I have found why sex is bad, how sex can be good, and how and why to liberate yourself from your bodies and our societies unhealthy obsession. Sex is a desire that is fueled by our senses. The good part about our senses is that they are able to adapt to almost any environment, the bad part is that this same ability to adapt means they are never ever satisfied. So the more sex you have, the more you will want. You will never get enough. It will consume you if you let it, and it will always disappoint you in the end.

The way we can overcome this addiction is to save sex for it's intended purpose, as animals it is meant for the propagation of the species, and as reasoning, feeling humans it is meant as the ultimate expression of love and intimacy. Instead of looking for your identity in how many men and women you can sleep with, find it in the still silence of meditation. This is the partner that will never disappoint.


And if you are looking for a feeling of intimacy, the joy and love that I have felt in those moments of stillness deep in my meditation practice are unrivaled in anything else. Acharyaji said something once that changed my life and I will never forget it. He said 'our eternal search for love and beauty is simply a reflection of our souls desire for Divinity'. All of our efforts spent trying to find someone to love, someone to love us, that feeling of intimacy and contact we get with sex, even the search for beauty itself whether that be in a partner, art, music or nature, is all an expression of our true thirst for ultimate source of love and beauty, Bhagavan.




Welcome to Sanatana Dharma.







'The wise is one who searches for God,


the successful is one who finds Him.'


Sri Dharma Pravartaka Acharyaji




Namaste

[deva]

Namaste, Dharmi,

I appreciate your response. I have tried to raise the celibacy factor in other forums, but the response has mostly ressembled the sound of crickets chirping in the dead of night.

If the ayurvedic doctors do not take this topic seriously and challenge the perpetuated ignorance of the pharmaceutical-based Western doctors, how are the rest of us going to have a chance in turning the tide? A corporate pawn like Sanjaya Gupta, who will say anything the pharmaceutical companies pay him to, will remain the most well known Indian voice in medicine. (Thank Krsna he turned down Obama's cabinet offer. He is about as much an embarassment to India as Bobbie Jindaloo.)

deva

[dharmananda]

I believe that the time is coming when the world will have to look in new places to find the answers it is looking for. This search will inevitably lead them back to the ancient wisdom of ayurveda, yoga and ultimately Dharma. The ancient sages go into great detail about the benefits of conserving the vital reproductive forces, and I agree with you that it would be wonderful for modern science to take an active role in researching this topic to find and record the benefits with our present day technology. Unfortunately I don't believe there is a lot of money to be made in the celibacy industry, which is truly what drives the medical field in America, so I think we must be patient and concentrate on the things we can do to benefit our own lives and the people we touch with them.

Celibacy is one of those things that each of us must discover for ourselves where it fits in to our daily lives and spirituality. Some of us are more driven with our sexuality than others, and each of us in the end has their own demons to battle. The biggest recommendation I can give, along with just about every other problem, is meditation. There is something present in the stillness of the mind that enables us to rise above our everyday problems to become something greater than we ever thought possible.

If anyone has ever found themselves unhappy due to anything from an failed relationship to an unfulfilled sex drive, I would urge the contemplation of even a short period of celibacy just to help them realize how much sex plays a part in their every day existence and to begin to create tools in which to control and overcome that drive. It can be a very powerful thing to take that ingrained reproductive force within us and channel it towards spiritual progress instead of allowing it to enslave us to the senses against our will.

In the end it requires patience and a desire to rise above our animal instincts to the betterment of our higher nature. I have never felt so liberated than this short time that I have thrown off the yoke of sexuality, and I believe if one can defeat the all powerful drive for sex within oneself, one can do anything.





'The wise is one who searches for God,


the successful is one who finds Him.'


Sri Dharma Pravartaka Acharyaji




Namaste

[deva]

Namaste, Hari Om,

I lament the desires that born me in a violent, unevolved Christian family where I was taught nothing about true spirituality and celibacy and even taught to eat slaughtered animals, ingest intoxicants and gamble. Now that I have been a vegetarian / celibate for decades, as are all of my true friends, I no longer consider it a vow or penance, but the natural way of human life. If my remaining desires force me to return to this temporary earth planet, I pray that I will at least be born in a Vaishnava family where I will once again be aware of Lord Krsna's pastimes and His eternal Vedas.

deva

deva

[sumit bhardwaj]

Hi..
Yes, you very right indeed, people in the western world hardly knows about the the powerful effect of observing celibacy. I the vedic times the celibate or the "brahamachari" was regarded as the first lesson in the four asarams. It has great benefits both materially and spiritually. There are guys which i know in the down town mumbai those who are following this voluntary celibacy under the able guidance of swami.
regards

[sumit bhardwaj]

dear dharmi
your question is a valid one.
Still today most of the western countries not have the true under standing of celibacy what to speak of western In India people has many misconception about the topic.
To understand the subject we need to associate with people those who are practicing celibacy. Practice of celibacy should be for a cause and not whimsically.

Wishing you.